i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
