If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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