dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the day after is always just damage control
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
