put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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