just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
