My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize