Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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