woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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