I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
