I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize