super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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