Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think i have herpe
just one?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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