dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
