we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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