I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
