Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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