I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
