Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
