hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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