I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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