I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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