dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
