okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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