so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
