a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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