i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
