marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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