it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.