Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.