guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave