We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...