The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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