At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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