Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
