All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
