speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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