i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
