did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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