id be glad to
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
