Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
