I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize