The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
