It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
