I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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