First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
