what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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