You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
