Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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