It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
