He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're like the curious george of whores
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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