dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
