it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize