i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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