He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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