I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
