Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
