Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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