The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
