She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
