Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
