She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
